Playin' On My Team

by Jay Spears

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    Jay's second album includes the youtube hit, the full-choir gospel rocker "Smak Dem Christians Down". Plenty of extra-crispy guitars, juicy harmonies, and out-loud lyrics.
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about

Jay's new CD, Playin' On My Team, has a thick, confident sound, and the eclectic elements coalesce into a signature style: guitar-pop with an agenda. Once again he is supported by his Harmonious Hetero Homeboys and other guest stars. The backing vocal arrangements are excellent as ever and there's great work from solo instrumentalists (the spectre of Brian May continues to hover magisterially over the feast). Spears himself plays guitar, bass, mouth organ and banjo.
The hilarity is less manic this time, tempered by more depth and atmosphere. -- Robert Farrar, psychodrome.co.uk

from Bill Stella, Highest Common Denominator:
Playin' On My Team scores big by mixing sincerity, fun, and pop music tributes in a breakthrough style of manly homo-pop. Equal measures of humor and melancholy in the lyrics, of tradition and innovation in the songs, combine handsomely. I enjoy the hit parade of pop styles Jay pays tribute to. The title track's harmonies blend with good spirits to remind me of what made The Turtles' music memorable. When it's over, it sends me home engaged and delighted and, like a good night out at the game, ready for bed. Manly, yes – But I like it, too. Oh Hell yeah.

credits

released September 12, 2006

With Guest Stars Annie Combs & Kim Williams, vocals; Jacky Klinek, saxes; and J.D. "Jaydoe" Salbego, drum programming
Featuring Doug Smith, drums
Jay Spears: vocals, guitars, bass, harmonicas, banjo “rhythm guitar and mouth organ”

Special appearances by Ron Romanovsky, accordion; Darius Campo, violin; Ken Deifik, harmonica; Fred Heringes, tenor
With Patrick Doolin, vocals, drum programming, and percussion

Plus my Harmonious Hetero Homeboys: Herrier, Harelik, Hobbs, Hoyt, & Hoke!
(Mark Herrier, Mark Harelik, & Paul Hobbs, vocals and David Hoyt & John Hoke, flaming lead guitars)

Words and music by Jay Spears, ASCAP
© p 2006 Jay Spears Music
www.jayspears.com

Recording engineered by Patrick Doolin
Mossy Fossil Studios, Los Angeles, CA
Mixed by J.D. "Jaydoe" Salbego
Sound Force, Tampa, FL
Mastered by Mark Chalecky
Capitol Mastering, Hollywood, CA
Art Direction and Photography by Sean Maguire
Thanks and Thanks Again to Dan Navarro, Tom Robinson, and John Kobular

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about

Jay Spears Los Angeles, California

Native L.A. singer-songwriter Jay Spears' debut CD "BOY HOWDY" features humorous, boy-meets-boy pop tunes with titles like I LIKE MIKE and CRYIN' OVER BRIAN.
Jay's sophomore CD "PLAYIN ON MY TEAM" includes the full-choir gospel rocker, SMAK DEM CHRISTIANS DOWN, the video for which has over 80,000 views on youtube.
Now here comes his third CD: We Are All Born Lucky.
... more

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Track Name: Playin' On My Team
PLAYIN' ON MY TEAM ©2005 Jay Spears Music ASCAP

When I met Mug, I thought he really dug me,
Always so quick with a grin and a hug.
But one thing I left out of the equation
Mug likes men of the Asian persuasion.

So yeah, we're pals but it's not like I thought it would be.
Just 'cause you're playin' on my team doesn't mean you're playin' with me.

Then I met Pat at the laundromat
He was sharp he was funny he was cool and all that
But it didn't take long to find out about Patrick
Pat prefers gents who are geriatric.

So yeah, we're pals but it's not like I thought it would be.
Just 'cause you're playin' on my team doesn't mean you're playin' with me.

Look around, you'll find there's someone for everyone.
Seems like there is someone for everyone under the sun.
That's gotta mean me. That's gotta mean me.
There ya go. I dunno. Ah....

Then I met Chico at a burger stand on Pico
Ah, here's the man for me.
Did it really come as a surprise?
Chico likes guys who are super-super size!

So yeah, we're pals but it's not like I thought it would be.
Just 'cause you're playin' on my team doesn't mean you're playin' with me.
Just 'cause you're playin' on my team doesn't mean you're playin' with me.
Track Name: I Will Always Love You
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU © 2005 by Jay Spears ASCAP

Come on, let's get out of here,
Step on the gas and disappear --
Put a mountain range or two
Between us and our failing fortunes.

We gotta find a safe new home,
Find love's footing on our own
Far away from the well-meaning
Gaze of those who say they love us.

Come with me, trust and see,
Quietly watching our future unfold.

Come on, let's get out of here.
Finally I start to hear
Love's own love song whisper as it
Starts to waken, can you feel it
Stir and grow, deep and low,
Quietly telling what love has to hold?

I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.

And when the world assails us with a wave of raging harms
You'll have a sacred haven in the fortress of my arms.
You will never know the fear of lonely cold encroaching years
'Cause I will never leave you, never leave you, never leave you.

I will always love you....

Come on, let's get out of here.
Now's our time to re-appear
Back home where our loved ones wait.
We'll get to know them, and we'll show them
We belong, sure and strong,
Quietly living the proof of our song.

I will always love you....
Track Name: Swept Away
SWEPT AWAY © 2005 Jay Spears Music ASCAP

Playin’ hooky from work, hikin’ up the North Fork made us feel like boys again
Skinny dippin’ in the ice-cold North Fork waters made us look like boys again.
We stood on the rocks playin’ catch with our socks and our chattering teeth all grins
You decided to take a last dip for the day and you plunged head-first back in.
It was beautiful to see, no one there but you and me,
How could we have known that in a moment you would be swept away.

You plunged back in to the mighty North Fork with a stroke both sure and strong
But I could tell by the look on your wide-eyed face that something had gone wrong
The North Fork wrapped its icy fingers around your chest that day
When our eyes met I started to sweat and all I could do was pray.
‘Cause in an instant I could see, we were helpless you and me,
You were fighting the mighty river but you couldn’t keep from bein’ swept away.

And I ran down the bank screamin’ your name
You were fightin’ the river, you were lookin’ at me
I tore through the brush screamin’ your name
I fell on the rocks, you were lookin’ at me
The last thing I could see, you turned away from me,
Quit fightin’ the mighty river, and allowed yourself to be swept away.


Don’t know how long I lay there stunned in shock and disbelief
I knew I had to go for help but I was paralyzed by grief.
Next thing ya know there you were standing over me
Like an angel, resurrected, all scraped up with a bloody knee.

And we both grabbed tight in a cold wet clinch, Laughin’ or cryin’ I couldn’t tell which.

You told me the North Fork flattened out about a quarter mile down or so,
When you got there, just a few strong strokes and the North Fork let you go.
Bloody and dirty we lay in a pool and bathed our weary bones,
Dried off in the sun, found our clothes, got dressed and limped off home.

Sometimes you gotta turn away from the ones you love & the guys you’ve always known
Put your face down in that raging river and strike off on your own.
We never told a single soul what happened to us that day
Playin’ hooky up the mighty North Fork, when you were swept away.
But you saved yourself you see, when you turned away from me,
Quit fighting the mighty river and allowed yourself to be swept away.

It’s the part I’ll always see, when you turned away from me,
Quit fightin' the mighty river and allowed yourself to be swept away.
Track Name: Drive Time
DRIVE TIME © 2005 by Jay Spears ASCAP

Woke up in Encino gotta get to Chino. (No sweat!)
Take the 101 to the 134 to the 210 down to the 60. (Say what?) (O.K.)

Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake; Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake
Tromp on the gas, lean on the horn. Tromp on the brake, lean on the horn.
Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake; Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake

Altadena Pasadena West Covina Upland (Heads up!)

Mark's in Culver City, but Johnny lives in Whittier. (Oh, boy.)
You can get to Whittier from Culver City but the 10 through downtown won't be pretty. (Say what?) (O.K.)

Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake; Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake
Tromp on the gas, lean on the horn. Tromp on the brake, lean on the horn.
Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake; Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake

Hollywood Inglewood Maywood Lynwood (Heads up!)

The 10 is the Santa Monica Freeway and it's also the San Berdino Freeway.
The 110 is the Harbor Freeway and it's also the Pasadena Freeway.

(Break) Breathe....

The 405 is the San Diego Freeway but it barely goes past Santa Ana.
The 5 is the Santa Ana Freeway but it goes all the way to San Diego. (Say what?)

Marina Manhattan Hermosa Redondo (Heads up!)

Gotta get from WeHo to Mission Viejo. (No sweat!)
Take the 405 straight shot. Straight shot. (Say what?) (O.K.)
Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake; Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake
But wait! Big car crash in Carson! (Gridlock! SigAlert! Oh Hell! No sweat!)
Take the 405 to the 105 to the 605 to the 405. (Say what?) (O.K.)

Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake; Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake
Tromp on the gas, lean on the horn. Tromp on the brake, lean on the horn.
Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake; Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake

Monrovia Ontario Fontana San Berdino

Desperate chill runs down my spine -- unleaded regular $4.29 (.9....)

Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake; Tromp on the gas, tromp on the brake....
Track Name: Who Is This Guy?
WHO IS THIS GUY? © 2005 Jay Spears Music ASCAP

Thunder rumbles through the sky, who is this guy? Who is this guy?
Easy grin, guileless eye, who is this guy? Who is this guy?
My cool's down the drain. Severed my tongue from my brain.

This is scarin' me to death, who is this guy? Who is this guy?
Skin like butterscotch and breath like apple pie. Who is this guy?
Hard to believe. Can he see the heart on my sleeve?

I feel a little queasy and I don't know why. Who is this guy?
'Scuse me while I kiss this guy. Who is this guy? Who is this guy?

Ask the right question if you know how.
What's going through my heart right now?

Ask the right question if I know how.
What's going through my heart right now?

Take a fearless stride into a blind abyss, and trust this guy will
Be a peerless guide to find the kind of bliss I hope to find.
Walks on thin ice never before felt so nice.

Drench my dormant desert with unbidden seed, and with a sigh,
Quench me with a shot I thought I didn't need. Who is this guy?
Track Name: Hey, Arnie!
HEY, ARNIE! © 2005 Jay Spears Music ASCAP

Hey Arnie, spinach on his chin
Hey Arnie, twisted little grin
Well I just can't tell but I know darn well that
Arnie is the guy for me.

Hey Arnie, cleaned out the garage
Hey Arnie, gives a great massage
Well I just can't say if he swings my way but
Arnie is the guy for me.

He likes playin' my guitar and
Workin' on the car
And he never really talks about girls.
He's all I ever wanted but I'm
Feelin' kinda daunted 'cause I
Just can't tell if he feels like me....

Hey Arnie, what's a guy to do?
Hey Arnie, give a guy a clue
Well it makes me frown 'cause my gaydar's down, but
Arnie is the guy for me, Arnie is the guy for me.

INSTRUMENTAL

When we're watchin' T.V.
And he's sittin' close to me
Sometimes his knee'll be on my leg.
Sometimes we share the shower
And he's really into flowers
But I just can't tell if he feels like me....

Hey Arnie, what's it gonna take?
Hey Arnie, give a guy a break
Well I can wait, 'cause I feel great thinkin'
Arnie is the guy for me, Arnie is the guy for me.
Track Name: My Belinda
MY BELINDA © 2005 Jay Spears ASCAP

My Belinda lives in Yorba Linda
I begin to yearn and wonder
Is she weeping woebegone beneath a willow tree
Or will she bravely carry on, someday forgetting me?
My Belinda moved to Yorba Linda
More chagrined is how I'll be
'Til my Belinda moves from Yorba Linda
Back to Orinda with me.

How come Gary moved to Tucumcari?
From where he very rarely calls me.
Is he sighing sadly in the silent desert night?
Has he put me gladly out of mind and out of sight?
How come Gary moved to Tucumcari?
A solitary guy I'll be
'Til my Gary moves from Tucumcari
Back to Tulare with me.

Shall I show him/her that my heart is torn apart?
Does he/she know I feel forlorn, forgotten, forsworn, rotten....
Track Name: Sean, Sean (What Went Wrong?)
SEAN, SEAN (What Went Wrong?) © 2005 Jay Spears Music ASCAP

Sean, Sean, what went wrong?
Sleepin' by my side, all night long
Ah, but come the dawn, you were gone
Now I find you sleepin' with the dog on the lawn.

Did you have an evil dream?
Did you hear some banshee scream?
Well ya know I don't have fleas
And the dog snores more than me.

Sean, Sean, what went wrong?....

Can what burns so bright by night
Turn to dust in the daylight?
What you feel inside is real.
Can you run from what you feel?

Sean, Sean, what went wrong?....

What's inside your head
Chases you out of your own bed. Oh, come on....

Sean, Sean, what went wrong?....

We didn't drink too much
But I think you think too much.
We'll work it out, you'll see,
Come on back inside with me.

Sean, Sean, what went wrong?....
Sean, Sean, what went wrong?....
Track Name: My Boyfriend's Back
MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK
by Bob Feldman, Jerry Goldstein, and Richard Gottehrer

He went away, and you hung around and bothered me every night
And when I wouldn't go out with you, you said things that weren't very nice

My boyfriend's back, and you're gonna be in trouble
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
When you see him comin', better cut out on the double
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
You've been spreadin' lies that I was untrue
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
So look out now, 'cause he's comin' after you
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, he knows what you've been tryin'
And he knows that you've been lyin'

He's been gone for such a long time
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
Now he's back, and things will be fine
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
You're gonna be sorry you were ever born
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
'Cause he's kind of big and he's awful strong
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, he knows I wasn't cheatin'
Now, you're gonna get a beatin'
What made you think he'd believe all your lies?
You're a big man now, but he'll cut you down to size
Wait and see!

My boyfriend's back; he's gonna save my reputation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
If I were you, I'd take a permanent vacation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, I can see him comin'
Now, you better start a-runnin'

*instrumental*

Wait and see!

My boyfriend's back; he's gonna save my reputation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
La, hey la, my boyfriend's back
La, hey la, my boyfriend's back
Track Name: Cheapskate
CHEAPSKATE © 2005 Jay Spears Music, ASCAP

Cheapskate, cheapskate,
You only like me, 'cause I'm a cheap date.
Cheapskate, cheapskate,
You only like me, 'cause I'm a cheap date.

I shoulda known you'd be an awful spouse
When our first date was at the Waffle House
You keep sayin' that you're stuck on me,
would it kill ya to spend a buck on me ya big

Cheapskate, cheapskate....

I keep thinkin' I'll be outta luck
If I can't give ya more bang for yer buck. I don't
Need a five-star joint every night, but I
Never met a wad quite as tight as you

Cheapskate, cheapskate....

Yer a skinflint yes it's true
Stingy miser through and through
We got names for guys like you
Yer a penny-pinching

Cheapskate, cheapskate....

You know I love ya; I don't think you're bad But you
Know you're cheap so don't get mad. Quit
Lookin' at me with yer puss all sour
Meet me at the Waffle House in half an hour, ya big

Cheapskate, cheapskate....
Track Name: Smak Dem Christians Down
SMAK DEM CHRISTIANS DOWN © 2006 Jay Spears Music ASCAP

Intro (sung by KIM WILLIAMS):

Oh, save us from your people, Lord.
Oh, save us, Lord, we pray.
Oh, save us from your people, Lord.
And make 'em go away.

My mammy baptized me you bet I'm washed in the Blood of the Lamb.
But here's one thing I just don't get -- who baptized Uncle Sam?
Some folks say the USA was Christian from the start....
But was George Washington a Christian? No!
Was Thomas Jefferson a Christian? No!
Ben Franklin? No! John Adams? No!
Was Abe Lincoln a Christian? No! No! No!
They separated Church and State which makes dem Christians frown,
And on that day I'm glad to say they smacked dem Christians down!

We gotta Smack dem Christians Down,
Smack dem Christians Down,
On that day I'm glad to say they
Smacked dem Christians smaked dem Christians
Smacked dem Christians down.

My daddy hails from Alabam so the South is in my soul.
I know firsthand about Dixieland and one Christian Judge's role. He said
"God made different races and gave them homes in separate places...."
So Black folk can't marry white folk! No!
Black folk can't marry white folk!
Colored can't marry white folk! No!
Colored can't marry white folk!
Nigras can't marry white folk! No!
Nigras can't marry white folk! No!
The Supreme Court heard it all and to their great renown,
On that day I'm glad to say they smacked dem crackers down!

We gotta Smack dem Christians Down,
Smack dem Christians Down,
On that day I'm glad to say they
Smacked dem Christians smaked dem Christians
Smacked dem Christians down.

Roll up the Bill of Rights and wap! wap! wap! 'em on the head.
Keep your radical Christian agenda away from my gonadicals and my pudenda!

I wish dem whacked-out Christian fools would learn from history
Instead of tryin' to foist their bonehead rules on 'mos like me.
If you wanna live in a theocracy maybe ya oughta move to Saudi Arabia.
Is the U.S. Government Islamic? No!
Is it Buddhist? No! Is it Hindu? No!
Jewish? No! Catholic? No!
Is the U.S. Government Christian? No! No! No!
So if dem Christians don't back off we'll run 'em outta town,
And on that day I'm glad to say we'll Smack dem Christians Down!

We gotta Smack dem Christians Down,
Smack dem Christians Down,
On that day I'm glad to say we'll
Smack Dem Christians Down.

Amen.
Smack dem Christians Down!
Track Name: Bougainvillea Waltz
BOUGAINVILLEA WALTZ © 2002 Jay Spears Music ASCAP

The bougainvilleas are amazing this year
With the colors all so full, so ripe, so juicy
Like you could reach over and take a huge bite out of ‘em
And the nectar would run streaming down your chest.
Magenta, purple, even a yellow-orange
And my favorite, the deep deep deep red.

The bougainvilleas are going crazy this year
With the colors all so full, so ripe, so juicy
Like watermelon when we were kids.
Take it outside, take off your shirt, take a huge bite out of it
And the nectar would run streaming down your chest
Mmmm.

Even the oleanders are getting into the act,
But we all know oleanders are poisonous
With their creamy white, creamy pink, dark pink
And my favorite, the deep deep deep red.

The bougainvilleas are insane this year.
Like you; so ripe, so juicy.
I wanna reach over there and take a huge bite out of you
And the nectar would run streaming down my chest.
Magenta, purple, even a yellow-orange
And my favorite, the deep deep deep red.

Yes, my favorite is the deep deep deep red.