Boy Howdy

by Jay Spears

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    Jay's sensational debut CD includes the toe-tapping youtube video smash "I Like Mike" as well as homo-pop faves "My Ray" and "Cryin' Over Brian". Fun beats, extra-crispy guitars, and juicy harmonies: What's not to like?
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    Get all 4 Jay Spears releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.

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about

BOY HOWDY was nominated for "Outstanding New Recording - Male" by Outmusic in 2003. It's been getting press like this:

Your tracks have such huge exuberance, originality and sheer joie de vivre I was grinning all over my face with enjoyment. – TOM ROBINSON, BBC6

How many songwriters these days are actually witty? Boy Howdy is hilarious and has been glued to my CD players for a week. And not only do you get great lyrics, but also fabulous sax arrangements and back-up vocals. It's mostly euphoric but has some richly emotional moments, such as the unlisted last track – a deranged classic. This is something that I can play to my muso friends, my gay friends and my friends who appreciate quality and need to know that an insane homosexual pop star with a rough-and-ready voice and a drum machine is making some of the most interesting stuff around.
-- ROBERT FARRAR, psychodrome.co.uk

Not since, maybe, Randy Newman, have I heard a body of work so packed with unique songs. -- MITCH GALLOB, Streeter Music

"What's Not To Like?"
If Leonard Cohen had a younger, gay brother with a polar opposite worldview of his older, gloomier big bro, an ear for melodies, an arch and witty way with a lyric and a mean-fingerpickin', folk/rock style on guitars, and let him run loose in the studio, BOY HOWDY would be the end result! Catchy love songs about ex-boyfriends and dating new ones? Who'da THUNK??? But there's so much more to this album than just that. Nope, Jay is no Pavarotti, but with songs this good, you'll be paying much more attention to the self-effacing wit and heartfelt touches he applies; from the jaunty "MY RAY" and the infectious call-and-response/jockboy vibe of "I LIKE MIKE", to the surprisingly touching message behind "POSITIVE," and the sad sweetness of "LULLABY FOR BEA," and the hopefulness of "YOU WILL LOVE AGAIN." No matter who you are and who you happen to be in love (or lust) with right at this moment, one listen to Jay's debut and the only thing you'll be asking yourself about this guy is "What's Not To Like?"
By dcscribe (Arlington, VA.)

Los Angeles singer-songwriter Jay Spears is just the kind of troubadour that the gay world needs. The comical slice-of-life pieces on Spears' acclaimed debut, "Boy Howdy", perfectly capture his easygoing West Coast sensibility. The classic guy's guy, Spears writes and sings from a jockish, happy-go-lucky perspective. -- JASON ROUSH, Aug. 28 Bay Windows, "New England's Largest Gay & Lesbian Newspaper"

Boy Howdy is a cheering affirmation of gay love. -- JASON VICTOR SERINUS (The New York Blade)

My musical style is eclectic in the extreme. Song-writing-wise, I call myself “the gay love-child of Randy Newman and Tom Waits.”

I have a lot of fun when I play live here in L.A. You should see the audience’s jaws drop when, after hearing a bunch of other guys’ music, I get up there and haul off with “My Ray”!

credits

released August 13, 2002

Recorded & mixed by J.D. Salbego at Sound Force, Van Nuys, CA
except "My Ray" and "You Will Love Again" recorded by David Hoyt
Mastered by J.D. Salbego at Poyel Studios, Hollywood, CA
Drum programming by J.D. Salbego
Electric lead guitar by David Hoyt
Saxes by Jacky Klinek
Annie Combs sings "You Will Love Again"
BG vocals by J.D. Salbego on "I Like Mike", "Cryin' Over Brian", and "Oh Hell"
Music & lyrics, guitar, bass, banjo, mandolin, & mouth organ by Jay Spears

Words and music by Jay Spears, ASCAP
© p 2002 Jay Spears Music
www.jayspears.com

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about

Jay Spears Los Angeles, California

Native L.A. singer-songwriter Jay Spears' debut CD "BOY HOWDY" features humorous, boy-meets-boy pop tunes with titles like I LIKE MIKE and CRYIN' OVER BRIAN.
Jay's sophomore CD "PLAYIN ON MY TEAM" includes the full-choir gospel rocker, SMAK DEM CHRISTIANS DOWN, the video for which has over 80,000 views on youtube.
Now here comes his third CD: We Are All Born Lucky.
... more

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Track Name: My Ray
My Ray © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC

Wrap-around shades, haircut fade,
My big, strong chango and his name is Ray.
Big soft hands, we like the same bands
A match made in heaven, my beautiful man.
We almost went dancin’ last week at the Dome
But he got a new puppy so he had to stay home.

He said he loves me when he called me today
That’s why I love-a my Ray.

A cool tattoo on his biceps, oo!
Mechanical, athletical, romantical too.
He’s never invited me to see his place
Don’t care about that when I dream of his face.
He didn’t show up for our date at the zoo
‘Cause he got a bad haircut - what can ya do?

He said he loves me when he called me today
That’s why I love-a my Ray.
That’s why I love-a my Ray.

Well it looks like I’m in luck
‘Cause he wants to borrow my truck.
When he took it last month, my friends called him a jerk
But it’s no big deal, I can walk to work.

He said he loves me when he called me today
That’s why I love-a my Ray.
That’s why I love-a my Ray.

Well maybe you think I’m outta my mind
I don’t need to hear about love is blind.
Nothin’ else matters when he’s holdin’ me tight.
I’m not too sure where he’s at tonight,
It’s his roommate’s birthday and he’s takin’ her out.
What the heck are you laughin’ about?

He said he loves me when he called me today
That’s why I love-a my Ray.
Track Name: Nothin'
Nothin’ © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC ASCAP

What does he do, when I’m feelin’ blue? Nothin’.
What does he say, when I’ve had a bad day? Nothin’.
What does he show me to make me know he’ll always be there for me,
And make me believe that he’ll never leave? Nothin’, that I can see.
What makes me think he won’t drive me to drink? Nothin’.
I’m helpless, exhausted, hopelessly lost at sea.
And what can I say or do, to hear him say “I love you”,
And know that it’s really true? Nothin’.

What can I do to write him off, wake up and smell the coffee? Nothin’.
I’m helpless, exhausted, hopelessly lost at sea.
So I guess I’ll just pay my dues,
and learn how to sing the blues.
What have I got to lose?
Nothin’.
Track Name: I'm Gonna Fall In Love
I’m Gonna Fall In Love © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC ASCAP

I always wanted to be top dog,
King of the world, high on the hog
Some day I’m gonna be rollin’ in dough,
Big-shot brass, own a Van Gough
But I know that won’t impress you
I don’t want to second-guess you,
So I’m on a mission, my greatest ambition
Is to prove to you what my heart can do.

I’m gonna fall in love, I’m gonna fall in love,
I’m gonna fall in love, with you.

I never was much of a hotshot stud,
Devil-may-care, loaded for bear
Look at this guy he’s packin’ heat,
Ace of the base, boss of the beach
Do you think life’s greatest goal is
To be a macho macho man?
Well I beg to differ; my challenge is stiffer:
To fall in love and that’s my plan.

I’m gonna fall in love, I’m gonna fall in love,
I’m gonna fall in love, with you.

Your hands, your skin, that cocksure grin,
Your glance, those pants! Get out!
I’m gonna fall in love
With all of the above,
And you’ll fall in love right back no doubt.

I’m gonna fall in love, I’m gonna fall in love,
I’m gonna fall in love, with you.

I always wanted to hit for power,
Look great in the showers, be MVP.
I always gotta be the go-to guy
Do or die, on TV
But all this swagger crap is worthless, when
I wanna hold your hand
That fire in my belly has turned into jelly
I want something much more grand.

I’m gonna fall in love, I’m gonna fall in love,
I’m gonna fall in love, with you.
Track Name: Positive
Positive © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC ASCAP

Met a big smiley jarhead,
And there wasn’t much doubt
He’s sizin’ me up;
I’m checkin’ him out.
Made a date for the weekend and I was delighted
Couldn’t wait, couldn’t sleep I was too excited.

So we went to the beach,
And I’m thinkin’ doggone
We’re hittin’ it off; it’s turnin’ me on.
Then he looks me in the eye,
Honest as the sky,
And he says “I’m an HIV-positive guy”.
And I go Oh. Ah. Uh... Hmm.

Positive. He says he’s positive.
Positive. He says he’s positive.

Well I looked out to sea,
And I gave a little cough
It’s bummin’ me out;
It’s tickin’ me off.
Well I felt bad,
But call a spade a spade
I don’t wanna dodge a bullet every time I get laid.
So I go Ah. Uh. Heh-heh. Eeeeeee.

Positive. He says he’s positive....

And he laughs. “This gonna be a problem for you?”
But I was just standing there starin’ at my shoe.
“Problem? Nah! Problem? For me?
Some of my best friends are HIV.”
Why couldn’t I be as honest as he?

Well I felt bad
But call a spade a spade
Don’t wanna dodge a bullet
Every time I get laid.
So now we’re pals, and I tell you no lie
I hope he finds a beautiful, beautiful positive guy.

Positive. He says he’s positive....
Track Name: I Like Mike
I Like Mike © 2002 Jay Spears Music

I like Mike. What’s not to like?
(We like Mike. What’s not to like?)
He’s the best darn thing to come down the pike
In a good, long while. I like Mike.

He plays hardball, that’s my Mike.
(He’s always playin’ hardball.) That’s my Mike.
Got the leather, got the lumber, he’s a true all-star
A permanent pirate in his muscle car.
He’s always playin’ hardball, that’s my Mike.
(He’s always playin’ hardball.) That’s my Mike.

I like Mike. What’s not to like?….

Mike’s got an attitude, bordering on brattitude
(He’s got an attitude, bordering on brattitude.)
Ball with the big boys makes him all cocky
Mike holds his own cause he’s short but he’s stocky.
He’s got an attitude, bordering on brattitude.
(Mike’s got an attitude, give the guy some latitude.)

I like Mike. What’s not to like?….

(Instrumental break)

Mike doesn’t chew ‘cause I asked him not to.
(He doesn’t chew ‘cause it’s what you asked him not to do.)
He asked me to dance but I sat it out
Mike got the hint and he spat it out.
He doesn’t chew ‘cause I asked him not to.
(Mike doesn’t chew ‘cause it’s what you asked him not to do.)

I like Mike. What’s not to like?….

Ballplayer boyfriend - I like Mike.
Attitude, brattitude - What’s not to like?
Permanent pirate - That’s my Mike.
Muscle car, all-star - What’s not to like?
Sat it out, spat it out - I like Mike.
Ballplayer boyfriend - What’s not to like?
Boyplayer ballfriend - That’s my Mike.
Ballplayer boyfriend - What’s not to like?

He’s the best darn thing to come down the pike
In a good, long while. I like Mike.
Track Name: Dismissed With The Quicks
Dismissed With The Quicks © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC ASCAP

It couldn’t be a fluke,
Cause me and my pal Duke
Heard how you rejected
A guy we both respected.
All we could say was “wow!”
When he told us how he was

Dismissed with the quicks.
Dismissed with the quicks.

And that guy you hosed last week?
My favorite ex, you freak.
He wasn’t tryin’ ta screw ya
He just said “hello” to ya but ya
Turned on your heel
How do ya think it feels to be

Dismissed with the quicks?
Ya pitilessly dissed him.
Dismissed with the quicks.
Ya flushed him from the system.

You’re thinkin’ you’re so fine
But you’re way out of line
Snooty pseudo-dude; bratty attitude
So spare me all the drama,
Cut down on the trauma
Play nice like yo momma taught ya.

Dismissed with the quicks. 86ed
Dismissed with the quicks. Nix nix nix

And now you’re hittin’ on me?
You have got to be
K-I-double-D, I-N-G.
To forgive is divine,
But you’ve been such a swine
We’ll hear your piggy squeals
When you see how it feels to be

Dismissed with the quicks.
I’m telling all my sisters
You’re history now, mister.
Ya had it comin’ to ya
Now crawl back to ya sewer.
Ya smarmy little pup
Come back when you grow up.
Track Name: You Will Love Again
You Will Love Again © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC ASCAP

When you were born, you were hurled
Out of your warm and comfy world
Turned upside down and smacked upside the rear;
You started life in tears.
But without them, how would you ever know
Your loving mother’s arms?
And grow into the beautiful,
Delightful soul you are?
Though it was painful at the time,
It yielded a sublime fruit,
A truth that’s absolute.

Now here you are, a trampled flower,
Wounded by a love gone sour
The chance of finding happiness so slim;
Too bad it was with him.
That kiss, intoxicating,
You want so much to believe,
You leave your heart defenseless
On your sleeve, naïve….
A mistake, but not the worst; let he who
Hasn’t made one cast the first stone.
I guarantee you’re not alone.

We all get hurt, It’s just a part of living
And how we learn about healing and forgiving
And although your heart’s breaking,
Some mistakes are worth making.
Sadder, wiser words were never spoken:
“A heart’s not truly whole until it’s broken.”
You will love again. You will love again.
You’ll live, and laugh, and love again.

And if you think that I’m just talking,
Well I was once where you are now,
I gave my heart to someone and was
swept away by how
He would run right up the stairs
And grab me in the doorway,
Hold me in my chair,
He could always find one more way
To astonish me, you see.
It sure felt real to me.
And always with “I love you,
I love you, I love you….”

You see, you’re not the first
To take your entire universe
And stake it all on one roll of the dice;
And lose and pay the price.
“No pain, no gain”’s a dumb cliché
But there I said it anyway.
“Better to have loved and lost”… another one!
Hey I’m on a roll today! Okay, okay….
A good night’s sleep long overdue,
And when you greet a shining new day,
You’ll find the courage to say

We all get hurt, It’s just a part of living
And how we learn about healing and forgiving
And although your heart’s breaking,
Some mistakes are worth making.
Sadder, wiser words were never spoken:
“A heart’s not truly whole until it’s broken.”
You will love again. You will love again.
You’ll live, and laugh, and love again.
Track Name: Cryin' Over Brian
Cryin’ Over Brian © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC ASCAP

Everyone in town is cryin’ over Brian.
He’s turned the place upside down, ‘cause Brian’s not denyin’
The rumors ‘bout him and me,
‘Cause I’m the one who started ‘em, see?
Now everyone in town is cryin’ over Brian.

Everywhere we go, They’re eyein’ me and Brian.
Inquirin’ minds wanna know, if I’m lyin’ about Brian.
Well, ask him and you’ll see,
That Brian’s in love with only me.
So everyone in town is cryin’ over Brian.

They’re all mopin’; they were hopin’
Bri would pick them instead of me.
Now They’re weepin’, cause guess where Brian’s sleepin’?
They’re goin’ insane, they got Brian on the brain!

All my buddies know what I’m implyin’ about Brian
When I spend all of my dough buyin’ stuff for Brian.
Don’t knock my spendin’ spree
‘Cause money can’t buy what he’s givin’ me.
Yeah everyone in town is cryin’ over Brian.

They’re all mopin’; they were hopin’
Bri would pick them instead of me.
Now they’re weepin’, cause guess where Brian’s sleepin’?
They’re goin’ insane, they got Brian on the brain!

I’ll spend my livelong days satisfyin’ Brian.
Comin’ up with a zillion ways for gratifyin’ Brian.
We’re havin’ good clean fun
Cause we’re the envy of everyone.
So get over it and quit cryin’ over Brian.
Track Name: Lullaby For Bea
Lullaby for Bea © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC ASCAP

Sleep, my baby, sleep, my baby
What’s to fear, your loving mother’s here
So sleep, baby, sleep your momma’s holding you.

Sleep, my momma; sleep, my momma
What’s to fear, your big strong boy is here
So sleep, momma, sleep your boy is holding you.

What do you see? A shimmering sea
What do you hear? Some voices near
What voices, momma?
They’re calling, they’re calling you.

Sleep, my momma; sleep, my momma
Some tomorrow, you know that I will follow
So please, momma, promise you will wait for me.

And when you reach that distant shore
That mysterious door,
Remember, remember me.

Sleep, my momma; sleep, my momma
Some tomorrow, you know we all must follow
So please, momma, promise you will wait for me.
Please, momma, promise you will wait for me.
Track Name: Oh Hell!
Oh Hell! © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC ASCAP

Oh Hell! I sat on my glasses
Oh Hell! I flunked all my classes
Oh Hell! I ripped my favorite shirt
Oh Hell! I dropped my doughnut in the dirt
Oh Hell! I’m out of the loop
Oh Hell! I just stepped in poop
Oh Hell! I ran over a squirrel
Oh Hell! I think I’m gonna hurl
I dropped my wallet in the toilet.
Oh Hell....

Oh Hell! I forgot to grease the pan
Oh Hell! I stuck my finger in the fan
Oh Hell! My date’s gone squirrelly
Oh Hell! I came too early
Oh Hell! They put me on hold
Oh Hell! I’m catching a cold
Oh Hell! We’re down three, doubled
Oh Hell! I’m in all kindsa trouble
That idiot cat just threw up a hairball.
I coulda won the big game but I threw up an airball.
Oh Hell....

Oh Hell! I locked the keys in my pickup
Oh Hell! Now I got the hiccups
Oh Hell! I broke all the eggs
Oh Hell! I can’t feel my legs
Oh Hell! There’s a hair in my salad
Oh Hell! My password’s invalid
Oh Hell! I’m havin’ a stroke
Oh Hell! The condom broke
I feel more stress today than I felt yesterday.
Oh Hell....

Oh Hell! My dog just bit me
Oh Hell! My name’s not Britney
Oh Hell! My computer just crashed
Oh Hell! I think I been gay-bashed
Oh Hell! I mashed my fingers in the door
Oh Hell! I don’t care anymore
Oh Hell! I got somethin’ in my eye
Oh Hell! We’re all gonna die!
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh Hell....
Track Name: House On Fire
House on Fire © 2002 JAY SPEARS MUSIC ASCAP

A great big beef-bo caught my eye,
And soon the sparks began to fly.
Well we’ve been dating, and since you inquire,
We’re gettin’ on like a house on fire.

Because of his incendiary charms
We had to disconnect all the smoke alarms
I gotta say he’s a real live wire
‘Cause We’re gettin’ on like a house on fire.

House on fire, house on fire, we’re gettin’ on like a house on fire.
If I said we weren’t I’d be some kinda liar,
‘Cause we’re gettin’ on like a house on fire.

He’s big! Like a guard or a tackle.
He’s burnin’ me up with a crackle crackle crackle.
He makes me sing like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
And we’re gettin’ on like a house on fire.

He’s got a great big chest like a fifty-gallon drum
Call 9-1-1, make a fireman come!
He’s everything my heart could desire
And we’re gettin’ on like a house on fire.

House on fire, house on fire, we’re gettin’ on like a house on fire.
If I said we weren’t I’d be some kinda liar,
‘Cause we’re gettin’ on like a house on fire.

He’s big! Like a guard or a tackle.
He’s burnin’ me up with a crackle crackle crackle.
He makes me sing like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
And we’re gettin’ on like a...

House on fire, house on fire, we’re gettin’ on like a house on fire.
If I said we weren’t I’d be a big fat liar,
‘Cause we’re gettin’ on like a....
Track Name: Bougainvillea Waltz
Bougainvillea Waltz © 2002 Jay Spears Music ASCAP

The bougainvilleas are amazing this year
With the colors all so full, so ripe, so juicy
Like you could reach over and take a huge bite out of ‘em
And the nectar would run streaming down your chest
Magenta, purple, even a yellow-orange
And my favorite, the deep deep deep red.

The bougainvilleas are going crazy this year
With the colors all so full, so ripe, so juicy
Like watermelon when we were kids
Take it outside, take off your shirt, take a huge bite out of it
And the nectar would run streaming down your chest
Mmmm.

Even the oleanders are getting into the act.
But we all know oleanders are poisonous
With their creamy white, creamy pink, dark pink
And my favorite, the deep deep deep red.

The bougainvilleas are insane this year
Like you; so ripe, so juicy
I wanna reach over there and take a huge bite out of you
And the nectar would run streaming down my chest
Magenta, purple, even a yellow-orange
And my favorite, the deep deep deep red.

Yes, my favorite is the deep deep deep red.